What should have been

They say it takes a village. But what happens when your village is banned and you’re forced into isolation?

We know that COVID has taken lives and destroyed livelihoods, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to grieve ‘what should have been.’

 As parents, we see first-hand how fast time goes by. You blink and they’ve gone from trying to roll over to tottering across the living room floor. You blink again and they’re negotiating with you for ‘one more’ bedtime story. 

As parents, you crave the conversations with other parents at your local baby group, where questions such as ‘does anybody else’s baby just not sleep?’ or ‘his poo was a really weird colour today, anyone else?’ are deemed completely normal and topical. 

As parents, you need the change of scenery of a day out somewhere, somewhere outside the confines of your home. Your home, that in the early days was a sanctuary but now feels more like a prison. 

As parents, you have the right to support, and we don’t mean a single support bubble. We mean the support of whoever you need on that particular day – that could be your mum for advice and to watch the baby, then it could be your best friend to boost you up and tell you you’re doing a great job. 

It wasn’t meant to be this way. Parents were not meant to be without their village.

It’s true what they say, this pandemic won’t last forever and with vaccines rolling out thick and fast, whispered hope of ‘when things are normal again…’ is becoming louder as each day goes by. But let’s remember, it’s also true what they say – your babies aren’t little for long. So, if you want to cry, vent, scream and stamp your feet saying ‘it’s not fair,’ then you are well within your rights to do so. It’s lost time. It’s a loss. Grieve that loss and then pick yourself up and plan for the future. Make big plans, make small plans, many any type of plan that makes you happy. From that first trip to a toddler group or the first time you take them swimming – those firsts will be just as special. Here’s to all the lockdown babies – your world may seem small right now, but just you wait, you’ve got so much to explore.